"Mashiro Ichijo, an intersexed high-school student who is made by a teacher to work out his gender identity in a collective dream, and Mashiro's romantic relationships with two classmates, one female and one male" (quote).
Ichijo thinks "as a man I'm too weak" because of his female side. As a woman she thinks something like "I'm too unattractive," because of her male side. Often experimenting with wearing a boys or girls school uniform, s/he feels the need to choose between one or the other gender expression and play it up, not comfortable to be in a gray area.
The truth is, gender is a gray area. As the bell curve demonstrates, there are more similarities than differences. That is, the things that make people different from each other are based on a variety of factors not necessarily related to gender. Yet as a society, we are constantly searching for and focusing obsessively on the differences we do find.
I often use my gender expression to my advantage. As a white middle-class woman with a feminine gender expression, I find I can 'get away with' a lot more than my peers of other races, classes, and genders. Rarely am I ever watched or suspected to be a shoplifter. I get pulled over less than males my age, especially if they have darker skin than mine. If I was caught doing something bad as a child, crying would almost always be followed by absolution/forgiveness with no punishment. This tended to be less effective for the boys my age.
I have mixed feelings about these advantages. Because my feminine gender expression appears to match my sex, coming out in high school was relatively easy for me. Easy because no one knew. When I told people "I'm gay", I was often not taken seriously. I was told I couldn't be a lesbian because I didn't play basketball. Because I didn't express a butch persona in my everyday life people just didn't believe I could be a lesbian. My girlfriend at the time was quite outwardly feminine as well. Our gender expressions were very non-threatening so we hardly ever got harassed.
I continue to be surprised at other less-easy coming out stories. My parents are very liberal-minded and upper-class. My father now seems to take pride in the fact that he has a lesbian daughter, and freely introduces me and my partner to his friends. It is a little more difficult with my girlfriends family, leading to awkward moments when I may or may not get introduced at all. I wonder if I had a more masculine gender expression, would I be taken more seriously as my girlfriends partner?
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